1940's to 1970's....that is what is wrong with my father and step-mother! I can not even count the number of times that I have been told by my step-mom how whatever action I am doing "is not very lady-like." Or how they would tell me that they didn't ever think I would get married (because I didn't act like a lady). I went to college and instead of earning a MP (marriage proposal), I earned a BA, MA, and soon a PhD. The memories make me so angry that I can not even type! I am getting off topic, so I apologize to you all.
Studying gender and race issues are not new to me, and I was aware of the "pink history." At 14, I can even remember buying from Weekly Reader a little book on how to get a boyfriend in 7 days - same principles. I owe that book for my first boyfriend, and that boyfriend subsequently cheated on me with a cheerleader making me cry! I am confident that cheerleader could not throw out a runner from center field, or hit 3 grand slams in a state championship season. I dropped out of cheer-leading in the 7th grade to pursue a more "unladylike" extra-curricular activity.
I digress....I am getting super-snarky. I am simply just trying to express how angry the readings made me. I see my own mother who was born in 1946, and divorced my dad in 1973 when I was only one years old. I understand better some challenges she faced, and how and why she chose to navigate as she did.
As far as "Badness to Meanness," I dislike bullies so much. It seems to be just a power struggle and sometimes people don't care about who they step on. Feminism is about power too. So, the academy should care any continue to promote awareness through writing and teaching. Obviously, bullies are both male and female, young and old; they are all insecure, but the life altering consequences affected on victims of bullies is astronomical.
Wow ... I can relate to so much of this.
ReplyDeleteAs a child, I *detested* being told some behavior wasn't lady-like, because most of those behaviors would have been perfectly acceptable had I been a boy. Even at an early age, I was acutely aware of the double standard.
And I was also bullied throughout much of my childhood -- probably because I was always different, and I think kids (male or female) can pick up on that. But luckily, I found being “different” as an adult isn’t necessarily a bad thing. :-)
Hayley
I'm struck by ways that what seems "unladylike" - aggression, anger, being impolite - can be read as perfectly acceptable and maybe even preferable in boys and men. And yet, I want us to remember that the male gender is head to certain scripts and rules too. The rules are different, but all genders (male, female, trans, queer) are held to cultural norms by which to perform acceptable identities.
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